A young man joined the Army and signed up to be a paratrooper. He went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane.
The next day he called home to tell his father the news.
"So, did you jump?", asked the father.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane."
"Is that when you jumped?" asked his father.
"Uh, no, I didn't. The sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the plane."
"Did you jump then?" asked his father
"I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."
"So, did you jump?", the father again asked.
"No!!! He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called the Jump Master over. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot-five and 250 pounds. He said to me, 'Are you gonna jump or not?"
I said, "No sir, I'm too scared. So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took out his you-know-what. I swear Dad it was about 10 inches long and big around as a baseball bat!"
He said, 'Either you jump out that door or I'm sticking this little baby up your ass."
